A Dog’s Life #7: ‘Your dog is your mirror — the perfect petri-dish of Leadership Training
or “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
I am Nora Stolz, positive psychology coach and wellbeing strategist for C-suite, entrepreneurs and courageous (wo)men. I live with my 9-month old Cavapoo puppy in Marylebone, Central London. In my column ‘A Dog’s Life’ I write about our urban adventures and what I learn about human interactions and society thanks to my four-legged fur baby.
Nature vs Nurture
How a dog behaves in the outside world, is very much a reflection of what’s going on in the inside world of the owner - physically, emotionally and spiritually speaking.
Nature is about the breed itself, every breed has underlying dominant traits. Some breeds are claimed to be smarter, or more playful, some breeds display more of a chase instinct or turn out to be great guard dogs, some breeds are more cuddly and relaxed and others are simply eager to please.
Harriet is a fabulous companion dog, and as it turns out she also displays innate qualities of sheep herding skills. That’s NOT great news by the way. If you are not familiar with the rules in the United Kingdom, dogs that worry sheep can be shot by the farmer — without any warning. So, when Harriet discovered her innate sheep herding qualities in North Devon, I definitely got worried…
Nurture is the result of owner handling the dog. My favourite dog owners are those who thriving to be an awesome parent, especially when they show the following parental qualities: patience, encouragement and consistency. [ Note: Hereby, high five’ing Archie’s parents — they are the gold standard of dog parents and taught me so many things already. ]
Double-down on your strengths
The way to make the most out of your nurturing efforts is to identify your dog’s natural traits and innate talents; then work towards amplifying those. It’s not dissimilar to strengths-based coaching whereby, we identifying unique skills, talents and qualities in the individual, to then support, encourage and empower the client to hone into and double-down on their innate powers, so they can create and live a life of authentic purpose and success.
It all starts within: Self-awareness is half the battle.
Before you start training your dog, I recommend everyone to follow a two-step approach of introspection. Self-awareness is half the battle.
- Have clarity about who you are and what you stand for.
In fact, I find it to be a very useful exercise for anyone to do, irrespective of dog ownership. Once you know the answers to the two questions — it is so much easier to make conscious decisions, developed consistent behaviour based on principles and in accordance with your authentic self. And as with everything in life: consistency builds trust. And trust is currency.
2. Ask yourself how you want to be perceived.
Similar to questions any new leader asks her-/himself: ’What leader do I want to be(come)? How do I want to make people feel? What do I want to be known for?’ Any responsible forward-thinking dog owner, will ask corresponding questions such as: ‘What master do I want to be(come)? How do I want to make the dog feel? What do I want to be respected for?’
The Positive Psychology Conditioning for Dogs
After meeting Harriet for the first time (week 4), I made the decision that this fragile, timid little puppy soul (she was the runt of the litter) needs to be raised with utmost love and tender care to turn her into a secure, confident and happy dog. When I collected Harriet at week 8, I started my experiment of positive reinforcement (credit to B.F. Skinner, world’s most famed behaviourist) — true to my life and work philosophy of positive psychology.
I wanted to test how positive reinforcement would stack up against a ‘traditional’ approach
So instead of scolding her, I ignored any undesired behaviours and rewarded everything I wanted to positively reinforce. And at times, I was using the odd ‘food’ trick to help her along the way ;-)
Here a few examples:
- If I wanted her to go into her crate, I would give her a treat and a verbal praise every time she entered upon my command.
- For every ‘sit’ on command she got a little treat and every time she spontaneously weed on the puppy pee pad, I praised her with excitement.
- When I needed her to calm down, I picked her up and soothed her whispering into her ears, pressing her against my chest so she could feel the slower heartbeat.
- Anything she did well, I celebrated.
Any undesired behaviour, I ignore completely
When one shouts / scolds or shows any exaggerated reaction to behaviour that’s undesired, the brain still gets a stimulus and subsequently is more likely to repeat that undesired behaviour. Ignorance is the way to go.
Puppies are the perfect petri-dish for any leadership style experiment
Puppies are incredible fast learners and they provide instant feedback — making them the perfect petri-dish of any leadership style experiment.
Subsequently, there hasn’t been any scolding in our household, not even when Harriet poo’d on my bed a few weeks’ ago. Not kidding, and ‘yes’, it required some internal strengths from my part to clean and ignore the situation.
In her defence: it was a nervousness poo the night when we returned back to London — the epicentre of Covid-19 — after four-month in North Devon.
